13 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Visiting Paris

1) They speak French

2) A baguette is bread, not a small bag


3) This is the filter end of the cigarette

4) It’s totally hetero to drink white wine on a blanket in a park setting

5) Everyone there dresses better than you

6) You can’t wear a burqa

7) You can’t hang out with Emmanuel Macron

8) Don’t go looking for Jim Morrison’s grave

9) It costs extra to take your espresso away from the counter

10) It’s pronounced “Notre Dame,” “Seine,” “Montmartre” and “Saint Martin”

11) If you fall in love there, it’s all a sham

Fuck you.

12) There’s dog poop everywhere

13) It’s just a place



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Eric Goldschein

Eric Goldschein

I’m a freelance writer originally from Brooklyn. I write about travel mostly but also business and “culture.” I hope you like what you read. ericgoldschein.com